me_irl

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me_irl (lemm.ee)

submitted 4 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 4 days ago (1 children)

The asexual experience, stumbling through kinks to see if anything hits. (It won't)

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 days ago

mood.

at best I've been able to finagle some kind of gerry rig of empathy where i can tell that someone else is enjoying it and i can kinda emulate it...

... this has been little more than a survival camouflage, however, to blend in temporarily and only long enough to slip by.

only after realizing and accepting that I'm asexual does it finally click why the "locker room banter" I'd always encountered in life felt so DEEPLY UNCOMFORTABLE for me. relationships too when we got close to particular milestones. then i wouldn't be able to maintain the illusion and they would recognize SOMETHING was "off" about me and become obsessed with trying to "solve" me like i was some kind of riddle... OR WORSE: they began assuming that whatever i "must" have "really" been into "HAD" to have been some really fucked up shit.

these people were literally incapable of comprehending that shit didn't do anything for me.

at least i can appreciate aesthetic beauty in the same way that i appreciate waterfalls or sunsets or shit like that but I've never wanted to fuck those either >_>;