Hi everyone. I created this community here on Lemmy because I wish to give others what I have never felt: the love and the support of a father.
My father is alive and well, but I've always felt like he was dead. I've never received support, love, or hugs but I instead received disapproval, criticisms, insults and high expectations from him. I remember telling kids in elementary school I had no dad.
I am at an age where this should not affect me. I am an adult with his own life but I am unable to feel indifferent to it. His words (or the lack thereof) still affect me. I want him to be proud of me, at least once in my lifetime, and whenever I try to say something that I think will make him proud, I always leave disappointed telling myself "never try again".
My mother was emotionally unavailable too as she has a schizophrenia diagnosis. I don't know what I am looking for by writing this post, maybe just some nice words.
I still wish to be someone's cherished son. Thank you for reading.
Man, this is a cool community concept. I keep meeting people who are left with life long PTSD because their parents were horrible to them. Let me be your 'dad for just a minute' to say this is a great idea, its great that you are doing something to make the world a better place, and I hope this grows. Good on ye.
Seriously, you're doing good work OP. Good job, buddy.