Unpopular Opinion
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Part of it I think it's that you're describing what the general population would call swinging or hotwifing. Cuckolding has an implied humiliation/non-consensual connotation in the public mind so that's why it's seen as derogatory. A cuck isn't having fun, or might not even know it's happening.
Husband is on-board and good communication? Not a cuck
Husband is seen as weak/humiliated, wife unilaterally controls it? Cuck
Whether these definitions are "correct" or not, that's the public perception
I think being a cuck doesn't mean not being on board, being a cuck usually means being a submissive part of the situation. It's just used as a derogatory for being whipped but obviously being a sub in a relationship doesn't mean your relationship is fake.
As an example, someone pressured into opening there relationship isn't really a cuck. They are just whipped in an unhealthy relationship.