this post was submitted on 08 Apr 2025
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Actually, let me update those wishes a bit: Not only do I hope your kids become smokers, but now I hope one of them gets a fulfilling, high-paying job as a tobacco company executive.
And after that? May your house be struck by lightning and burn to the ground, and the only thing that saves you from living under a bridge is the fact that your wealthy tobacco company executive offspring can afford to just buy you a new house with his hard-earned tobacco blood money, so that way every day you live your life knowing that your existence is subsidized entirely by smokers.
Bro why are you so defensive about a bunch of poison-belching stink bombs?
^ See, funny thing about me is that when you say things like that, my brain actually interprets it as "Not only do I want you to smoke right next to me, but I also I want you to blow all the smoke right in my face after every puff you take".