this post was submitted on 02 Apr 2025
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A Comm for Historymemes

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 2 days ago (4 children)

Even worse in my opinion is when they use a generic British accent as a stand-in for literally any time and place in history. Ancient Rome? British accent. Ancient Greece? Also British accent. Ancient Persia? British accent again! Ancient Egypt? You guessed it! British accent! Even when the actors aren't even British, the accent is. It makes no sense. It's lazy and arrogant.

If I had a billion dollars, I'd make the most painstakingly realistic movie about Samurai in feudal Japan, and have all Japanese actors using a SoCal Chicano accent. Or maybe a hyper realistic Viking epic with a full Nordic cast, but they all talk like surfer bros.

The audience needs to be forced to see how insulting that shit is.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 days ago (1 children)

a hyper realistic Viking epic with a full Nordic cast, but they all talk like surfer bros

Jarl! My dude! We totally viking'd the shit out of that Irish monastery! It was fucking rad!

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 days ago (1 children)

"Duuuuude… King Ælla’s a total boner. We gotta roll up on Northumbria and fully hack these posers to bits, brah. Then maybe, y’know, hit the mead hall and get wasted with some totally rad shield maidens."

I swear to Odin, I would make this movie and only release a few short trailers with no dialog in them. Just brilliant cinematic shots of action, scenery, all the super authentic costumes and customs, and get some historians to endorse it (I know a few who would love the joke and the chaos). Then BAM, hit the audience with the most ridiculous shit ever.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Yeah! You gotta lull them into suspension of disbelief.

I'd invest some money into this. Someone has to be brave enough to write the script.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I would partner with a historian friend of mine to write it. I'm good with dialog, and he could keep it authentic. Write a rough draft like a normal script, then go back and fine tune all the dialog to surfer bro without changing anything else.

All the Nordic women would speak in Valley Girl.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago

I would pay to see both of those.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Yeah I can understand speaking English and avoiding subtitles, but there are basically three options for accent:

  • American, with some allowance for "urban" vs "country"
  • Not American - English
  • Evil - Russian or German, depending
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

Where does Australian English fit in?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

The English accent is often used for evil empires too, eg Star Wars.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Also lots of evil mastermind types in spy movies and whatnot. They also like to eat while being evil, which I have a whole theory about.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

There are a lot of interesting discussions around the use of food in movies. Even ones that aren't directly about food.

Regular food intake is critical for our survival so it makes sense that it takes a large social role.

As a general rule, making and sharing food is considered "good".

  • "Everybody eats when they come to my house." - Cab Calloway
  • "You can get anything you want, at Alice's restaurant." - Arlo Guthrie

Taking and consuming food is "bad".

  • "Get in my belly!" - Fat Bastard
  • "Mind if I have some of your tasty beverage to wash this down with?" - Jules

The exception is when food is offered. In that case, graciously accepting the food is also good.

  • ET and Sloth (from Goonies) accept the candy.
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

How does Valentine serving Sir Galahad McDonalds on a silver platter in Kingman Secret Service fit into that?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

Evil - Russian or German, depending

Or just vaguely Eastern European. Basically, do your hammiest Bela Lugosi impression, and you'll have a bright future as Human Trafficker #1 in all the best shaky-cam action schlock Hollywood has to offer.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

No joke I'd watch that Viking epic for the lolz

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

Now I just need to secure about a hundred million dollars.