this post was submitted on 10 Mar 2025
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Why is partner more common than spouse? Is it because gay marriage was only recently legalized? I just find the word reminds me too much of business jargon and buddy cop movies.
I personally like my chosen one, cause then it's like we are in an epic quest together.
It also covers fiancees and pre-engagement relationships.
Or any relationship with an SO for that matter. I feel like the term, "Pre-engagement relationship" suggests that the procession into marriage is somehow requisite to the development of a relationship.
Also, to me it feels like it's more like 'equal partners in a relationship'. 'My wife' or 'my girlfriend' often sounds a little possessive.
I assume it has a lot to do with ideas around autonomy, ownership, monogamy/polyamory, etc. where conventional language is either uncomfortable or misleading.
I like partner personally because it eschews ownership, and instead promotes autonomy.
probably because partner is pareja and that's gender neutral, while spouse is esposo/a and that's gendered. Spanish being one of the world's most spoken languages does have an effect too.
word connotations have power in public discourse. its part of why languages shift we're constantly attempting to avoid meanings that cause stress.
Partner's prevalence imo (without any study to back this up) is less about gay marriage and more about equality between heterosexual couples. There is a lot of gendered baggage in hetero terminology. Gay marriage and the transition of hetero couples from gendered terms to neutral terms are a correlated phenomenon. Basically they likely have the same underlying cause but one did not cause the other.
My guess is its the acknowledgement of equality between people in relationships and the rejection of government defined roles at the root cause of both changes.
Oh, so that's what bigots mean when they talk about the gays destroying traditional family values.
(feigned surprise)
"My chosen one" yeah, I like that.