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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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Anon tries to impress a woman at the gym (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 5 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 4 days ago (2 children)

In high school I had a crush on this girl who had something on her Facebook about really liking gummy worms. I read that, thought "this is my in" so I bought a bag of gummy worms. Honestly, not a bad plan. Next time I saw her, I pulled out my bag of gummy worms and ate a couple.

Did I offer her a gummy worm? No. I was under the impression that she'd see me eating them and say "hey, you like gummy worms too?" And then we'd start chatting and [something] and then we'd start going out.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago

Well, clearly it wouldn't work. You should instead act like you hate gummy worms and give them to her to get rid of them.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 days ago (2 children)

And theeeeennnn...?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 days ago (1 children)

He developed a gummy worm addiction and became morbidly obese, leaving the work force and receiving a disability pension.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Nature is fine with failure, it is expected.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

It is, and then you die slowly in a ditch in terrible pain.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 days ago

All natural.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 days ago (1 children)

We continued to be friendly acquaintances because I never actually made a move 🤷‍♂️

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Awwww damn...

I went through my girlfrriend's cashier lane at the grocery store for 3 years before fingering out how to get her number without not being just another dick rolling through when she has an endless supply to choose from. Turned out she had been waiting the entire time for something to happen

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 days ago (1 children)

And everyone tells me I'd be an asshole for asking a girl out while she's at work. Well don't keep us in suspense man, story time.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

That's why you follow her when she leaves work and ask her out on the way home. She's not at work then so it's okay.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 23 hours ago

Lmao sound advice, can't argue against it.