this post was submitted on 22 Feb 2025
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Enough Musk Spam
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In before Musk says "You think the government uses COBOL?!"
I don't think the government uses COBOL. I know the government uses COBOL.
It doesn't matter what I think or know, the government uses COBOL.
Not only do many important government systems ultimately rely on or make heavy use of COBOL...
So do many older private companies.
Like banks. Account balances, transactions.
Its actually quite a serious problem that basically nobody who needs to take seriously actually does.
Basically no one is taught COBOL anymore, but a huge amount of code that undergirds much of what we consider 'modernity' is written in COBOL, and all the older folks that actually know COBOL are retiring.
We're gonna hit a point where the COBOL parts of a system to be altered or maintained, and ... there just isn't anyone who actually knows how to do it.
Yeah, I’ve been tempted to try this route, but you’re really pigeonholing yourself. Even if there’s always wrk, I can’t imagine only working with cobol the rest of my career.
Even worse, the places still using this are very heavy in process, with many undocumented dependencies among many undocumented workflows and business processes. Modernizing COBOL is not a coding problem: it’s a mammoth project management, coordination, and paperwork project that also has a little bit of coding. And its not like you can write clean code, you need to write essentially the same tangled mess of accumulated changes over decades because there’s no way of knowing everything that might break
I hereby nominate you to be the new head of the SSA.
You get it, exactly.
COBOL itself is a fairly minor part of the problem, the real problem is the retiring COBOL coders are the only ones with enough institutional knowledge, broad and specific, to keep the engine from grenading and fucking wheels from coming off the car when it hits a bad enough pothole.
But management and C Suite are apparently homo superior, fully confident that none of that really matters, they'll just keep throwing money at it until its fixed, and failing that, laying off everyone, who care in the end, they get a golden parachute when it all burns, everyone else can FOAD.
My understanding is that even if you learn COBOL, you'd struggle to understand legacy systems since they have their quirks from a bygone era
That is absolutely true as well... though this may be just a personal anecdote, it seems to me that the few COBOL coders I once knew would be amongst the most likely to keep a solid documentation of their own systems.
The problem with that though, is that their bosses are almost always too stupid to ask them for such documentation before they leave/retire, or to bother to preserve it when the exiting COBOL programmer gives it to them, because coding is magic to them, and you're either a good magician that can do the thing, or you're not.
Upper management / C Suite seems to never understand why the term software engineer was/is used.
He would dismiss COBOL and try to prove that he is a super cool geek with a deep knowledge of DnD and gaming culture. So more like:
"COBOL? Such a language doesn't even exist unless you think Kobolds are real! Hahaha"