this post was submitted on 17 Feb 2025
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Having a child literally rewires your brain and pumps you full of hormones which make you believe that having a baby is the most wonderful thing in the world. Parents go on and on about "you can't understand until you do it!" Which absolutely makes sense because theres no other way to get that specific neurotransmitter cocktail. But that experience isn't objective reality any more than taking acid is. Therefore parents are arguably the worst people to speak objectively about the experience of parenthood. They are just too close to the subject. I feel like I am a much more objective observer of their experience, and it looks pretty awful to me.
That's like saying you're the authority on what an acid trip feels like because you watched someone take one. Also step parents and adoptive parents love their kids without "having" them
You could say this about literally anything though? All of the best rushes in life are just your brain drugging itself.
I mean, to play devil's advocate, there are some subjects in which the person vouching for something being biased because they're "too close" isn't a concern: whenever there's an objective benefit to whatever they're doing
For instance, a person who runs marathons and has experienced runner's high might say running is super fun once you get good at it and you should try it, and maybe you will and maybe you won't, but trying to get good at running wouldn't be a permanent life changing decision like having a child, and it would benefit your health rather than harming it like drugs
There are lots of thrills in life outside of drugs and instinctual hormone soups. Admittedly runner's high is the healthiest example, but stuff like video games, sports with minor risk taking like snowboarding or mountain climbing, etc also fit the bill
Hmmm I wonder if those hormones could be synthesized and taken as a drug? I'd give it a try just to see what it did to me as a childfree person.
Unless you're one of those unlucky ones whose hormones go out of whack and you end up drowning them in the tub.
See, you are missing that cocktail. You have to take one with the other.
Or do as my boss said, get grandchildren and skip children.
Acid is probably cheaper too
And you sober up after a while and gain the ability to evaluate whether the experience was worthwhile. I'd try being a parent if I only had to commit to about 12 hours of it at a time.