this post was submitted on 13 Feb 2025
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Mental Health

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"How did my child grow up to be so depressed?" (lemmy.dbzer0.com)
submitted 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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Literally my parents.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

But they also both beat my physically on very rare occasions.

What do you mean "beat"

Were they actually beating you like a school bully would, or are they slapping your hands?

Both are wrong, but an actual "beating" would probably cross the line and is both immoral and illegal.

And no, you don't "deserve" any type of corporal punishment for anything that you might have done (unless you murdered your siblings or something like that)

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Uhhh mom hit me with wooden spoons or three things at me when she was angry. I definitely pushed her buttons and antagonized her at least once that I can remember. So that one I'll take the blame for.

My father only threw something at me once. But I remember one time he spanked me so badly I couldn't sit comfortably for a few days. I was in highschool at that point lol.

They never like punched me or kicked me or anything like that.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Nah. Please do not blame yourself for being a child that didn't have emotional regulation. Please hold parents to the bare minimum standard of providing modeling of it. Throwing shit or hitting you is not healthy modeling.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago

They did their best. Given the parents they both had honestly it's a miracle that I was only abused the amount I was abused. I know that doesn't give them a free pass on making parenting mistakes but it does give context for their emotional shortcomings as parents.

I have grown to forgive them regardless of their mistakes in my youth.

Can't change the past but we can make changes for the collective future.