ADHD

Hey everyone. Lately, I've been trying to learn more about ADHD (I was diagnosed with the inattentive type as an adult), and there are a few aspects that confuse me, so I'd like to know if there are others out there in a similar situation who might be able to guide me a bit. Unlike what I've read about people with ADHD, my train of thought isn't chaotic, with one thought overlapping another or constantly jumping between ideas. In fact, I often find myself not thinking anything at all, with total calm in my head. This happens both in relaxed situations (which isn't a bad thing) and in moments when I need to focus, like during work meetings, where I'll suddenly realize I've been zoned out for the last few minutes (not thinking at all) and completely lost track. On top of this, combined with the "if it's not now, it doesn't exist" mindset, my emotional world feels... "stable." Stable because neither the future nor the past is "now," so those emotions just fade away. All of this has left me feeling like my life is somehow out of my control. I feel like a little twig floating down a river, content to end up wherever the current takes me, unable to steer toward where / actually want to go. It's pretty disheartening, honestly. I'd love to know if there are others out there who feel this way -people living in a sort of emotional and mental void that only kicks into gear when alarms start blaring