Yeah, it's crazy to me that people believe we were "intelligently designed" when our food hole and breathing hole are so close that we can only use one at a time, and that our waste dumping grounds are right next to the amusement park.

This is actually a result of changes to our larynx and stuff, which allows us to make such a variety of sounds when speaking. In other animals (and human babies), the air and food tubes are physically separated at rest. But in humans, our epiglottis can't properly keep things separate because our larynx is further down in our throat.

So, I'm gonna have to deny this request on the grounds that it will necessarily break the speech feature, which many of our users depend on heavily.

Wasn't this a compromise that allows speech? Babies can drink and breathe at the same time.