this post was submitted on 27 Jan 2025
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No Stupid Questions

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No such thing. Ask away!

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Someone I know shows stuff such as:

  • constantly needing a scapegoat
  • shifting blame/cannot take accountability
  • exaggerated mindset, often where other people are useless and they are the greatest
  • has to maintain a very positive public image, such as being the absolute best
  • does not have empathy unless it involves them or impacts their image in some way, if their image is supposed to be empathetic they will act so because of their image
  • lacks empathy for people in pain/bad mental health/etc. but their image might be very upset about that
  • will often be very nice to people in any sort of power

I’m asking because I’m genuinely curious if I should help, and maybe that even if they exhibit negative behaviors, they’re not a completely TERRIBLE person despite how they treat me.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago (16 children)

You are literally describing narcissism. If they are incredibly important to you then you can hope they decide to pursue cognitive behavioral therapy but IRL you cannot make them fix this. Behavioral disorders are very hard to confront especially NPD because the person with it rarely sees the issue.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago (13 children)

so this is just like textbook narcissism and not just an asshole?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago (9 children)

Im not a shrink but it seems like it. Like I said if it isn't someone you are close to and have to have in your life I would move on.

If this is your actual problem rather than someone else then you need to talk with a therapist specializing in cognitive behavioral therapy. That road is long and difficult but you might end up happier after a few years.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

she’s actually my “close friend” but I don’t consider her that for obvious reasons

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Move on, people on the NPD spectrum don't understand theor problem and you cannot do that for them.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago (2 children)

yeah, she either apologizes because she “can’t control herself” or blames me

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

The Narcissist's Prayer

That didn't happen. And if it did, it wasn't that bad. And if it was, that's not a big deal. And if it is, that's not my fault. And if it was, I didn't mean it. And if I did, you deserved it.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

YES. This is how she behaves!!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Note if they are a teenager they might grow out of this. If you are 30 run for the fucking hills

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

i can be hopeful then, im a teen

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

They could outgrow it but if this is consistent at 19-20 it us unlikely to change but 13-18 yeah it might.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

Only the pain of a loss, such as your company, could possibly jolt them into self reflection .

If you don’t leave you are getting hurt and hurting them as well.

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