this post was submitted on 28 Jan 2025
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Anon signs up for a 5k (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 4 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[–] [email protected] 35 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (3 children)

Because I’m procrastinating at work:

How many sessions of coitus might it take to accumulate 5 km of cock thrusts?

Estimates:

  • average erect length: 13 cm (from Perplexity.ai)
  • average number of thrusts in coitus: 300 (ibid)

Calculations

  • thrust distance per coitus session: 13 cm x 300 thrusts x 2 (accounting for insertion & removal) = 78 m
  • coitus sessions to accumulate 5 km of thrusts: 5 km / 78 m = 64.1 -> 64 sessions of coitus

So OP’s wife would have to fuck 64 times to accumulate 5 km of cock. Even with amazing refractory periods, that’s still a minimum of 32 guys running a train on her.

Edit: working through this reminded me of that episode of HBO’s Silicon Valley where they started talking about handjobs and hotswapping dicks and hit on middle out compression.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Sir I think you are forgetting that you do not pull the pens completely out with every thrust unless you want to snap it off by accident. I think a 1.25 multiplier to your calculation is therefore necessary.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago

That’s a fair assumption to make. So our totally real OPs wife now has to make 80 fucks at minimum instead of 64

[–] discostjohn 24 points 3 days ago (1 children)

My favorite part of sex is taking my average sized penis all the way out and putting it back in approximately 300 times

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

The all new penis 2.0 now with hotswap capabilities.