this post was submitted on 09 Jun 2023
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The worst of it, by far, is of course the front page. But some of the subs I can think of off the top of my head where I encountered trans or homophobia are r/Science and even r/Pathfinder2e (if you know anything about the Pathfinder universe, this might seem mind boggling). There was pro LGBTQ+ support in many of these subreddits, but there was always a comment or a debate or whatever in every queer related thread.
The subreddit for the state I live in, while generally supportive, has numerous comments debating my right to exist as a queer person in most threads even vaguely LGBT related. It's frustrating knowing I could basically only find refuge in LGBT subreddits. Everywhere else, there was always someone making a jab or starting an argument. It's exhausting.
Wow - I'm so glad I never got into the front page at all, or looked for subs based on location. I always thought that was a Facebook thing (and I don't use facebook). I suppose the only place I would have seen anything like that was in changemyview which is where you go to have an argument anyway.
I joined my state's subreddit to keep an eye on local happenings. Our news outlets aren't the best, so it was a good way to hear what was going on. For the most part, it was a good community. But there was always a handful of people who had to argue equal rights every time it came up and it was disheartening to see the same hate every single time.
Apparently I should get into photography, because your experience on Reddit sounds so chill! LOL
Well, we just argue a lot about sensor size / format, is Canon or Sony better and how many thousands of dollars we spent on cameras and lenses. Many people have opinions. I guess it's not attacking anyone's identity, unless you think Sony Fanboy is a critical part of your person. Kind of like the IT OS wars lol.
But yes, that and like multitools - we're arguing about Victorianox vs Leatherman... These sorts of subs are pretty chill, and not a lot of drama that I can remember. I think things that are about something you're a fan of, rather than location or very broad seem to be a lot better experience on reddit. And sadly, these are the communities I mostly access on my phone via RedReader and that I either would be spamming or just confusing many members if I said come on over to the lemmyverse. There are some standalone forums from long ago though that still run, so I might have to go over there if I care enough.
I'm all for a good debate. I frequented the technology subreddits since they're related to my work and I love a good OS or language debate. I've learned a lot from hearing other people's arguments. So that all sounds like friendly banter to me!
I do think the smaller the subreddit, the safer you are. Most of my best experiences are in those subreddits. I just found myself wishing I could explore Reddit a bit more without walking away bummed out by all the hate. It's hard finding a good subreddit.
I can imagine that - I just never really felt the need to explore reddit, which might be my loss, and also why I don't get a lot of "how reddit is". I'm painfully out of touch for being so online (never did facebook or twitter at all), and really prefer stuff that is open...
So I'm aware I have a weird view of the online world - but I guess it's also why I'm incensed about killing third party apps. I hate the change away from protocols where you could choose how you interacted with the net to products where the UI changes on a whim, usually for the worse, and you're "running in place" just to do today what you did yesterday. What pisses me off the most is there's no reason the world needs to be this way - Companies sold new cars every year without swapping around the pedals ever other year. Most home improvements are improvements but aren't changing the UI for the house. LED bulbs don't actually require an app for instance. We've had chainsaws for decades and even the electric ones work the same way and look about the same.
I don't know why computers and the net can't be like that. Why can't I use Thunderbird or Vivaldi while you use Outlook and Firefox but we aren't cutting each other off? This is why I like the fediverse. It's why I liked IRC, and e-mail. It's one of my main reservations about even otherwise good tools like Signal.
And it's not like usenet providers or e-mail servers don't make money. But back to my main point that people won't pay for access, though I think if we went back to something more like usenet where you paid for "all the groups" rather than on a per site / per forum basic might work or again get bundled with your ISP like email and usenet were.
I've been through a lot of social media sites over the years. MySpace, Facebook, Twitter. I think you've got the right idea avoiding them all at this point! LOL
And I 100% agree regarding third party apps and open protocols. I tried several Reddit apps before Sync really grabbed me. I thought it was so neat having so many options, something I hadn't seen since the early days of the internet. And then Reddit had to ruin a good thing and take all those away.
I do think the fediverse has the right idea. We shouldn't all be crammed into a single "one size fits all" site. Now we just need some good apps to go with it!