this post was submitted on 24 Dec 2024
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[–] [email protected] 119 points 3 days ago (4 children)

Now try finding someone you find attractive and who also finds you attractive in return (it's impossible).

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Honestly if you lower your standards it gets pretty easy.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

People say this all the time, but I've never really understood it. You can't help who you are attracted to. Do a lot of people just have relationships with people they don't find attractive?

I don't find like 99.9999% of people attractive. So I never really bothered attempting to date. I don't blame people for it like an incel would...it's just a slightly unfortunate thing that means I'm incompatible with other human beings. The few times I tried, it felt awkward and bad that I couldn't reciprocate what the other person felt. It felt like lying and I'm not really sure what I was supposed to be getting out of something like that.

Legitimately curious.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I will absolutely not.

(Just on a note, looks only are a minor priority, if at all.)

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Love is love, you don’t choose it, it happens.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago

How am I supposed to lower my standards then?

[–] [email protected] 41 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (8 children)

I did a calculation once about my chances of finding a compatible long-term partner, inspired by the Drake Equation and using many many assumptions. The numbers are not good: ~22 out of 8 billion.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 3 days ago (1 children)

As a married man, I gotta say you’re probably selling yourself short or have unrealistic expectations of a partner.

Remember that whoever you’re going to date is a person, not a robot. People are not quantifiable. One day they may be a dick, the next they may be pleasant. Some people are willing to compromise and others aren’t. Man, woman, or other, it doesn’t matter. If you’re not willing to compromise something, you’re never going to find someone.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Post pic or be assumed attractive

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I’d rather be assumed attractive than to remove all doubt.

Go hangout at a Starbucks in a target if you want to meet women, they’re certainly not going to wander into your bedroom.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

Not willingly, at least

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Cant drink coffee m8, even the smell makes me throw up

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Ah yes, people love it when another person has such a weak constitution that they can’t handle the smell of incredibly common drinks

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Glad to see were on the same page. Enjoy your coffee o supreme one.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

This is weenie shit

[–] [email protected] 33 points 3 days ago

So you're saying there's a chance

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 days ago (1 children)

That seems absurdly low. Are you sure that all of your criteria are non-negotiable? And entirely uncorrelated?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Look I wasn't completely serious about it, there's no way to actually calculate something like that.
For example what's the fraction of people that find me attractive. It could range from 0.05 to 0.5. I have no way of knowing.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

You could work backwards from successful marriage counts.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago

Wouldn't be a problem if someone took dating as seriously as Skyscanner takes flight tickets.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Yall need to lower your expectations god damn

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I like reminding my single friends that 73% of Americans are considered overweight. 41% are obese.

A shocking amount of my male friends are overweight or obese and refuse to date overweight women.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

We could all lose a few pounds but sharing a meal is a huge thing, take that thicc person out and enjoy meal with another human being you animals. You might even find you have some commonality and you'll feel slightly less isolated when the meal is done.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

"that will be $86"

only kinda /s

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 days ago

I only need to make 1 assumption to solve that equation for me

0% of people would find me attractive

QE fucking D

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago

I'm curious about the math you did to come to that final number

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

Give it time. Sometimes they can start out vanilla and warm to the idea of kinks through your relationship. Usually those kind of things aren’t set in stone.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago

That's the boat I'm in, except that I'm also gay and the popular trend is poligamy. :) Fml