this post was submitted on 02 Dec 2024
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Science Memes

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FIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHT (mander.xyz)
submitted 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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Spoiler alert: It's a research program for over 20 years at Northeastern University to understand the impact of steroid abuse in teens.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4720269/

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[–] [email protected] 85 points 2 weeks ago (7 children)

Here's a fun game: describe your research/interest in a similar way that Fox/Republicans use to describe research. The more misleading it is from the actual research, the better.

I'll start: watch how tired mice get when they get sick

(determine the mechanism of how microbial contact affects host circadian rhythms)

[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 weeks ago

Even that wasn't quite clickbaity and broken enough.

I studied whether we could operate dump trucks on mars.
(Super hydraulic fluid based rover systems)

My friend made moss in jars for air conditioning.
(Super endothermic moss for cooling, oxygen and protein development in space)

You gave mice the flu and asked them to sleep.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (5 children)

I study how fast poison leaking into the ground is cleaned up by microbes, and how it's possible to protect drinking water sources from that poison.

I honestly don't know how to phrase that so it sounds ridiculous or useless.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 2 weeks ago

You watch trash water drain into dirt

[–] TheFogan 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Researchers spend $X to find out if poison kills microbes.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

That just sounds like antibiotic research.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

Researchers spend $X to find out if microbes kill poison

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I'll take a stab at it.

"Researchers spend $X to see whether poison leaking into the ground gets into our water."

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago

Researchers Poison Groundwater!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

No, that would implicitly admitthat pollution happens, which would never occur on Fox. Better version might be "see if dirt absorbs poison"

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

Researchers spend $X trying to poison groundwater, thankfully foiled by bacteria.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Oh that's easy. You're the one turning Frogs gay.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

Shit, you got me.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

My company charged the government billions of dollars for a camera that takes hours to take one photo.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago

Is Skynet upon us? Communist robots now get to think faster with new brain!

I'm researching heterogeneous cores embedded systems for robotics running open source software. ><

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

My company costs the government billions each year for weapons that haven't been used in nearly 80 years. Talk about inefficiency!

Nukes and nuclear nonproliferation.

Shout-out to republican department of energy head Rick Perry who wanted to get rid of the DOE thinking it was just solar panels and windmills. TEXAS MAN THINK GOVERNMENT ENERGY BAD.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

Like all god-fearing men, they are afraid of invisible powers that actually work!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

You seriously (I’m dead serious) need to pitch this as a game show to Netflix.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 weeks ago

Already recorded and cancelled.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

Always nice to see a fellow circadian researcher in the wild. Be curious, be critical, and most of all, bmal!