this post was submitted on 15 Nov 2024
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Ye Power Trippin' Bastards
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This is a community in the spirit of "Am I The Asshole" where people can post their own bans from lemmy or reddit or whatever and get some feedback from others whether the ban was justified or not.
Sometimes one just wants to be able to challenge the arguments some mod made and this could be the place for that.
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Even if you aren’t intending judgement with it, ‘normal’ carries a judging connotation, or at minimum the connotation that there is something wrong with them that needs to be fixed.
Telling them that the way their abnormality needs to be fixed is through transitioning rather than conforming to their ASAB is still imposing more gender stereotypes, even if it’s done with good intentions.
If someone is given free access to information about trans people and transitioning, can talk to trans people either in person or online to ask questions, etc, and they’ve decided they aren’t trans, then that’s just something you have to respect. Self determination is more important than making sure nobody can hurt themselves by making decisions they might regret.
I'm sorry if it came across that way, I don't think people who do it need to be fixed, just helped to discover their true selves so they can be happy.
How? It's literally encouraging them to transition away from their AGAB, it's literally breaking gender stereotypes by virtue of presenting differently than society expects them to, since they are presenting and identifying as a gender different than what they were assigned at birth. Being trans breaks gender stereotypes.
Trans regret is one of the lowest regrets that there is out there, almost no one does and most if not all detransitioners do so because bigoted fucks made or coerced them to do it. Trans regret is practically non-existent in the real world without external influence.
FWIW I understand you weren’t intending it to be negative, but it’s just one of those words with too much cultural baggage. If it’s important to point out that someone’s gender expression is atypical (unusual, etc) that’s something that can be done without the implied value judgement of ‘normal’.
On one hand, yes; on the other, sentiments like “girls do xyz, therefore if you do xyz you’re a girl” are just gender stereotypes but trans inclusive. The trans inclusive part is good, the gender stereotypes not so much.
Absolutely, and for clarity when I was talking about people making decisions they might regret I was referring to someone regretting not transitioning. It’s always better to err on the side of letting people determine for themselves who they are, even if you don’t get it or think they’re doing it wrong or that they’re going to wish they’d listened to you.
I’m not trying to tell you that you can’t feel the way you feel, or that it’s wrong for you to feel it. It’s just important to know when it’s affecting how you treat others and potentially making a place more hostile to both trans and cis people.