this post was submitted on 05 Nov 2024
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Autism

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I hate days like this. (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
40 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

Im just a terrible person. I walk wrong. I talk wrong. I breathe wrong. I exist wrong and everyone around me makes sure I know it. I don't think suicide is a choice that is worth making but I do eagerly await the sweet release of death sometimes. I just needed to vent and you all get my sadness right now.

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[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I swear, we are the ultimate scapegoats for bullies. I've been going through a similar experience for a while. It's like people try to find anything that they can criticize and use it to shame me rather than have an open and forthcoming discussion to address it. Being autistic, we're always guessing how to do things in a world where everyone else knows the rules, which are meant to be followed, and which are meant to be violated.

Au: You're violating a rule.

NT 1: Yeah, but it's okay. It's not a big deal because it doesn't harm anyone and everyone else is doing it.

Au: violates rule and gets caught because they thought that's normal and expected

NT 2: That is a rule. Why did you violate it?

Au: Because it doesn't harm anyone and everyone else is doing it

NT 1 & 2: So now you're snitching too?

Here's another one. You learn a rule and apply it in the situation you learned it. However, you didn't know it was applicable in other similar situations, so you don't apply it. People get upset with you because they have seen you apply it in the first situation, so you "should have known" and therefore need to be punished. ๐Ÿ˜ฎโ€๐Ÿ’จ

I don't care how you walk, talk, or breathe. You be you. Don't accept other people's shame being dumped on you. If someone makes you feel bad about yourself, tell them that you don't like what they do that makes you feel bad. If they keep doing it, stop being around them as much as possible. It's not your responsibility to help others process their shame. You are your main responsibility and already working with a disadvantage. Make sure you're okay โค๏ธ