Nix / NixOS

Nix is typed: there are strings, paths, lists, attrsets, etc;

Not sure what's wrong with CLI, as I don't really use it except nix flake update (although I remember updating stuff installed via nix profile being a bit cumbersome, but it's not exactly a good practice to use it this way);

Good point with cache, although stuff outside of nixpkgs sometimes provides their own caches which are trivial to enable;

Nobody forces you to use github:nixos/nixpkgs, it's just a regular input. Ppl quite often have their own forks. It's also trivial to use stuff from outside nixpkgs (also just another input);

There are different builders (e.g. buildGoModule);

Idk where you've found toxic community, my interactions have been pretty nice so far (mostly matrix rooms);

GUI is optional, just like for all the other package managers. And it exists: https://github.com/snowfallorg/nix-software-center

Perfectly agreed with nix not (yet 🙃) being the best thing that exists, tho, albeit due to different reasons. For example, it's a PITA to debug, and the error messages are sometimes unhelpful.