Transfem

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A community for transfeminine people and experiences.

This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.

Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.

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Some helpful links:

The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
Gender Spectrum // Resources for youth, parents and family, educators, mental health professionals and faith leaders.

Support Hotlines:

The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.

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"Act like you've been there before" 😅 (lemmy.ca)

submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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"Act like you've been there before" is a cliché I've heard that means to behave in a situation that is new and exciting to you as if it is something old and familiar to you instead.

As a closeted transfeminine person, I'm thinking about painting my fingernails black - wearing coloured polish in public would be a first for me. And I'm thinking of getting them done at a salon - another first.

I'm so nervous but excited. I know from experience of rocking neutral or clear polish as a cis-looking AMAB person that being super nonchalant about having painted nails in public will lead to me having a better time, which is ironic because rocking painted fingernails in public is like bucket list-level excitement for me. But to assuage my high levels of social anxiety and increase my odds of having a good time, I know I ought to be nonchalant or "act like I've been there before." It's kind of humorous to me, even though I obviously don't think there should be any stigma at all.

The more I dwell on this, the more I realize it's important to me and I should do it. Gotta gather my courage tho! 😅

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Good advice.

Painting my nails was the first remotely fem-presenting thing I did (other than shaving!). Very few people even noticed. One of the people I work with, after I came out, said I just looked a bit more stylish than usual. The biggest response I got was paying at my local where the owner knows me well -- "oh, you've painted your nails" / "yup". And that was it.

Having said that, I don't have nearly enough courage to go to a salon or anything yet! Let us know how it goes!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Thanks for sharing! And that is top-tier pub banter! :P

I should follow your example and keep responses simple - I don't need/want to blab. Maybe just "yup" and a smile, like "I'm doing me, and I hope you're doing you!"

Thank you for the encouragement! I hope to be back to provide an update :)

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, not talking too much is often a good plan if you want to keep things simple :)

Plus, stuff like nail art of course isn't exclusively feminine. If I go out with (very) light makeup, in women's jeans and painted nails, internally I'll be overflowing with girl stuff euphoria, but to everyone else I'm just some dude. Since my body shape, face and hair aren't remotely feminine (yet!), there's not really much to code "woman". I think I'd have to wear a dress and full-on eyeliner for anyone to notice.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Good advice. And maybe I overestimate how many people do/will notice. I guess I do tend to focus on the majority who do notice and not appreciate the majority who don't or are chill.

I'm glad to hear of your times overflowing with girl stuff euphoria. And that "yet" sounds exciting ☺️