this post was submitted on 12 Oct 2024
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Joining a support group, not sure what to expect (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
13 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

A contact of mine suggested me to join a support group to find people with similar difficulties and talk to them.

I found a group nearby, but I'm a bit reluctant to go. I can feel myself making up excuses as to why it would not be a good idea.

  • I don't feel like it would be helpful.
  • I will feel like they have even more severe issues than me and I can't relate.
  • It's a group with 10 people, so I feel like it's a bit too much for me. I feel like I will just let everybody else talk and be silent like usual.
  • I was a bit sick in the past weekend and I'm worried about making other people sick (even though it's kinda over)

Anybody already went to a support group before, what was your experience?

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Not a support group, but I had many of the same reservations about group therapy. A doc recommended me for IOP and I had no idea how that was supposed to help me. Then I went and it clicked. It wasn't only having others in a similar boat to talk to, it was being able to relate with someone having a hard time with something you were familiar with and be able to help them. It was a very supportive environment, with people giving what they could and getting what they needed.

There are bad groups out there of course. Mid-program I got switched to PHP at another facility (answered a bit too honestly on an assessment) and it was like night and day compared to the first program. It was glorified babysitting. I went back to the first program as soon as I was able (which coincidentally happened just after my official AuDHD diagnoses).

That said, I never would have known unless I tried. A good facilitator will hold space for everyone, and a great facilitator will watch body language and make space for those that look like they may have something to say but aren't able to find the space on their own. 10 sounds like a decent number. Enough that someone will usually have input at any given point, but not so much that people feel left out.

So far as comparing problems, it's not a contest. Everybody's situation could be worse. That doesn't make it any easier for those going through it. I've heard some gut wrenching stories in group. None of that improved my situation... though the mutual support helped all involved.

When it comes to illness... I'm a big supporter of "stay the hell home, I don't want your cooties" lol. If you're legit concerned, try to catch the next group. If you feel mostly okay but are still worried, wear a mask (the physical kind). If you're just using it as an excuse... be honest with yourself. Say "I do not feel comfortable going this time" and own it. Don't beat yourself up. It's a big step, and a new one. Give yourself a little grace.

Whatever you decide, I hope it works out. Best of luck!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Thanks man. Ended up going and it was really nice to share experiences and frustrations. Glad I decided to go.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Happy to hear it!