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Poorly socialized rule (lemmy.world)

submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Hey! Bi cis male here, the few men I seem to go on dates with always seem to have some hangup. I'm not gay enough, I'm married to a women, hates vegans, hates trans people. It's really exhausting to the point that first dates feel like I'm interviewing them.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It's really exhausting to the point that first dates feel like I'm interviewing them.

If it's a first date, you are interviewing them. I'm sorry it feels exhausting for you though.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago (3 children)

I get what you mean but it shouldn't feel like that. I shouldn't be searching for something they might hate me over.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, when I met my wife the first time it was the opposite of exhausting. I felt like I could keep talking all night.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

Dude same. It was really easy to date before 2016. First date with my wife we kept talking until the bar closed.

Now you have to look into your meeting spot make sure nothing problematic happened there. I was lucky that my enbyfriend friend was in the music scene when I was because I already knew a lot about them before our relationship started.

Now if someone is interested in me. I'm always skeptical. I recently got asked to help this straight lady cheat on her husband because she wanted to create strife for a divorce. Like who TF what's to be involved with that stress?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago

I agree, it shouldn't feel like that. As someone who is bi and queer though, on top of all the normal trials and tribulations of dating there's also a long list of people who don't think I have the right to exist. I'd rather find out they're a hate filled asshole as soon as possible so I can move on with my life. At this stage I won't meet someone face to face unless we've chatted extensively online already. Even though I'm dooming hard I do still hope you find someone 😊

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

you should probably write up a "if you don't like this shit you shouldn't talk to me" copy and paste to cut down on this somehow.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

As a straight man I could say similar things about most of the women I've dated. It's not a men problem or a women problem, it's just how dating is. Nobody's perfect and it's hard to find someone that fits with you.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 2 months ago

you mean to tell me that most people don't believe the majority of the things you do? That's weird.