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Advice on consequences for 4 yearold (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Hey all,

I'm looking for some advice on some age appropriate punishments for my four year old when they hit/push/scratch. My older, 8 yearold is easier to pick punishments for, because we can limit or restrict certain things they like to do, but because my four year old is still in a go with the flow phase, it is a bit harder. What ideas do you have?

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I have friends who swear by token systems (stars, tickets, etc.) never been a huge fan myself, the kids start to respond to the incentive more than the behavior. But your mileage may vary.

Hitting is hard. It’s very developmentally appropriate but emotionally charged. I do not mind being hit, but my wife absolutely cannot take being hit by our kids (understandably!). Sometimes she has to remove herself from the situation because her response is (again, understandably) emotional. I find that my kids need to be told what the right behavior is in that moment - to them hitting isn’t necessarily as weighty or impactful as it is to an adult. It’s just a way the feel to express their emotions, and I see it as my job to teach them other, better ways instead