this post was submitted on 17 Jul 2024
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The Onion

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5 Summer Activities Sure to Ruin Your Lawn Summer is here, and that means one thing: it’s time to watch in horror as your lawn turns into a post-apocalyptic wasteland. Why fight it? Embrace the inevitable chaos with these five activities guaranteed to obliterate that golf course-caliber lawn you’ve been working years on. You might as well lay down wood chips and call it a day, because those little savages will destroy it by fall one way or another.

1. Slip and Slide Ah, the slip and slide – the classic summer activity that promises fun, laughter, and a lawn that looks like it hosted a mud-wrestling tournament. After a few hours of kids hurling themselves down a plastic sheet at breakneck speed, your once-lush grass will be nothing more than a distant memory. The combination of water and trampling is sure to create a muddy disaster zone. Just remember, mud is nature’s way of saying, “You never really liked grass that much anyway.”

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Ah, slip and slide. The product my family only had for one summer before it went away forever.

Because neighbors borrowed it, refused to watch their shitty kids, one of the kids broke her wrist because of this, and then they tried to sue us.

It didn't work, but I was so happy when that family left.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

What a neighborly thing to do, sue your neighbors for kids being kids. My 5 year old got 5 stitches in his eyebrow a few weeks ago at a friend's house. Kids do stupid shit, that's just the way it is!