Linux

I mean... that's simply incorrect. If you read my original post, I talked about that, exactly. Twice in the last month I've had running updates via the "updates available" notification in Kubuntu break the system, and require chrooting into the system via a live usb to fix it. That's without any changes or messing around with the system, on a very recent install.
When I used normal Ubuntu, there were rampant gnome shell crashes. Hardware compatibility is far from perfect, as well - case in point I've done clean installs of Linux Mint on computers for others in the past, only to find out that there simply aren't working wifi drivers for the device.
Linux CAN be less maintenance, but it's ultimately more work to actually make the jump and completely relearn how to use a computer. I'm fully aware of the capabilities on people who aren't enthusiasts, I do tech support for my whole family all the time. My stepfather's solution to the wifi being slow was to make more networks on the same router, it was hosting like 12 wifi networks at once. However, windows is already familiar to them. They could technically learn to use linux, but they have zero interest because if windows has an issue they'll just call me and I'll fix it (and that's usually not needed because it rarely breaks on them).