/c/Vent: Vent about your life here

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Newborns fucking suck (lemmy.world)

submitted 4 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

43 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I've got a 3 week-old newborn. During the day there are plenty of adorable moments and easy times. But it's the middle of the fucking night, he strategically waited until I was switching diapers to piss on me and all over, then was flailing his arms and pushing the bottle out of his mouth even though he was very hungry, then shit his GODDAMN BRAINS OUT while eating, then after I burped him and cleaned him up and got him in new clothes and swaddled and put him down, he fucking screamed until I picked him up again.

Like, I've given him everything his tiny little brain and body could need. That coupled with the strategic shitting and pissing to require the absolute maximum amount of work from me.

The vent here, I guess, is that I fucking hate this. I loved my life with my wife and now we have next to zero intimacy(not sex, obviously, but even our normal physical touch). We have zero time for each other, one is tending the baby, while the other is desperately trying to keep up with cleaning bottles and keeping the house passably clean and there is no time for anything.

I would never let any of what I just said affect how I interact with the baby, but I'm fucking sick of having literally zero independence and I miss my wife (her being in the same bed and next to me most of the day makes it worse somehow).

Fuck.

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk. Check out The Oatmeal, they've got a comic about having kids that's painfully applicable.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

Man, that's rough.

Now, I've never actually parented a newborn full time. All the kids that I've been a parent to were past that stage a good bit.

However, I was a nurse's assistant. And I had a double handful of newborn patients for one reason or another. Obviously, it's a little different on my end than yours, but I have that glimpse into the sheer insanity that is a newborn, and some of the parents of my patients were in the same place you are. Hell, one couple hired me for their second kid a few years after I worked for them because they just needed someone they could trust to give them a night of solid sleep once or twice a week.

I think that shows exactly how draining an infant can be, that they'd pay out of pocket for my company to send me out, with how expensive babies are, even at their income level.

My dude, I genuinely hope you have someone, family, friends, whatever, that can give you both the break you need. And you both need breaks. What you're doing is physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausting. If not, look into a home health agency. They'll be insured, have certifications, the whole works. No way insurance will cover it, but you would be amazed how many people need respite help for newborns. You won't have much trouble finding a company that will set you up with whatever frequency you need, just be honest and up front about wanting someone trained for first aid and infant care rather than for an existing medical issue. There are some that are under staffed and can't fill that need, but they're out there.

Even if it's just a few hours a week, you need relief.