this post was submitted on 18 Jun 2024
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Nah. Just different choices in all of these. I have ADHD. Most of the problems are not about trying to achieve the same things as others do, but trying to achieve them the same way others do. After solving that there are still downsides, but these are not qualitative.
It takes very little to notice which things don't work and don't try them again. A parent who doesn't care about this is a bad parent, and an educator who ignores this is simply malicious. At least in my experience people would very easily change their approaches.
Including very traditional-minded people and those denying the condition itself ("you don't have a disorder, you just need to do things your own way" is ignorant, but really better than using others' conditions to attack them, and I've heard this really often ; definitely better than "oh, it's so sad, I really hope everything will be good with you, I really like your imagination and hope you'll give it more attention, but it seems you won't change, we are too different, don't write me anymore", said in 20x the amount of words, in relationships).
Those who wouldn't were either insulted by some perceived lack of respect and tried to prove that I'm stupid, needless to say that lack of respect became genuine then (like a few school teachers and university professors, but not all of them ; or peers of the "dumb and uninventive, but proud of being capable of stealing something" kind), or ignorant idiots of the Soviet generation afraid of anything connected to mental health (like my dad, what's even dumber I'm confident he was autistic too).
Humans have invented words to discuss all those things. If it's about spending possibly the rest of your life alongside someone, being reluctant to talk is just strange. Yes, if the other person thinks they know better and this shouldn't be discussed in detail, then no chance.
Unless that other person is too autistic, ha-ha. Then that particular kind of problems one can just write off.