ADHD

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A casual community for people with ADHD

Values:

Acceptance, Openness, Understanding, Equality, Reciprocity.

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No abusive, derogatory, or offensive post/comments.
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Mark NSFW content accordingly.
No racism, homophobia, sexism, ableism, or ageism.
Respectful venting, including dealing with oppressive neurotypical culture, is okay.
Discussing other neurological problems like autism, anxiety, ptsd, and brain injury are allowed.
Discussions regarding medication are allowed as long as you are describing your own situation and not telling others what to do (only qualified medical practitioners can prescribe medication).

Encouraged:

Funny memes.
Welcoming and accepting attitudes.
Questions on confusing situations.
Seeking and sharing support.
Engagement in our values.

Relevant Lemmy communities:

Neurodivergent Life Hacks

lemmy.world/c/adhd will happily promote other ND communities as long as said communities demonstrate that they share our values.

founded 1 year ago

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Do neurotypicals really not have to do this? I'm seriously asking. (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Thank you Nome @NomedaBarbarian

For the visually impaired, the images are a series of Twitter screenshots.

Full transcription of text below images.

@NomedaBarbarian on Twitter:

Thinking about how I've been lied to as an #ADHD person about what habits are.

That apparently is not what neurotypical folks get to experience.

Habits are things that they do without thinking.

They don't have to decide to do them. They don't have to remember to do them. Things just happen, automatically, because they've done them enough for that system to engage and make them automatic.

That system...which I lack.

Every single time I have brushed my teeth, it's been an active choice. I've had to devote thought and attention to it. It's not a routine, it's not a habit, it's something that I know is good to do, and hopefully I can remember to do it.

Every single time I exercise, or floss, or pay my rent, or drink water, or say "bless you" when someone sneezes,

It's because I've had to actively and consciously engage the protocol.

It never gets easier.

Just more familiar.

It's part of my struggle with my weight--exercise never becomes a habit, and every single time I do it, it is exactly as hard as the first time. It takes exactly as much willpower & thought.

I got lied to about how it would just "turn into a habit". And blamed, when it didn't.

Drinking water isn't a habit. Feeding myself isn't a habit. Bathing isn't a habit.

I spend so much more energy, so much more time, so much more labor on just managing to maintain my fucking meat suit.

And now you want me to ALSO do taxes?

ON TIME?

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

For me (neurotypical as far as I know), habits are a mix of 3 things:

Conditioning from when I was a kid (quite literally Pavlovian Conditioning) which I will do without thinking. For example I will clean my shoes on the doormat both on the way in and the way out, the latter not really making logical sense: I've just been conditioned by my mother when I was a kid with constant "Clean your shoes!" and the behaviour just got associated with the trigger of going over the doormat, hence I unthinkingly do it also on the way out
Familiar and always (so far) no problem choices. For example having lunch in pretty much always the same handful of places, buying the same brand of certain things. As an introvert I am not comfortable with new places with new people plus there is a cognitive cost (and risk) with trying new things, hence the familiar feels comfortable and the unfamiliar discomforting. The habit is driven by favoring the easy/comforting over the discomforting. This is not the same as being unable to change: I'm actually a serial immigrant and can very quickly adjust to living in a completelly new place and a different country (nowadays it takes me only a few days) - it's just that there is a huge barrier to actually get myself to the point of starting such a change.
Stuff I have to force myself to do because it's important to do it for social or health reasons. Shave, proper cooking (rather than quick improvisation involving no significant meal preparation or ready-made meals), even brushing my teeth.

All those things qualify as habits (in the sense of being done regularly) but the drives for each class of thing are very different.

PS: I get the impression that what some think of as habits in a neurotypical sense is mainly the first class of things. As far as I know nobody has only conditioned habits, plus you can't really condition complex things (at best you can have a "get up and go do it" conditioning).