this post was submitted on 11 Jul 2023
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A 4chan post with a picture showing the text "I'm not sure what's going on, but my asshole is in danger!"

>Be concubine character
>High bluff but very basic combat skills and nothing for utility
>Supposed to be high level campaign but I'm adamant this is who I want to go with
>Have to be carried through every fight basically, party thoroughly annoyed
>Finally make it to dark lord's fortress
>Betray party and announce I love the dark lord and will do anything for him
>Party locked in dungeon while dark lord and me have wedding ceremony
>We retire to his chambers to consummate, at this point party telling me and DM to stop this is fucking stupid they just want to D&D not bear witness to our ERP
>The dark lord turns his back on us and I reveal myself
>Concubine opens her legs and epic level halfling rogue slides out of her ass
>This was my true character all along
>www.d20srd.org/srd/epic/skills.htm#extremelyTightSpace
>I've been rolling to stay hidden up her ass the entire campaign to get close enough to the dark lord to assassinate him
>Concubine is just a hired NPC that DM agreed probably had an anal circumference of more than 2 inches and was willing to let it slide
>One last roll
>With his legendary armour removed and his back turned he never sees me coming
>Shoot up there like a flash before he even knows what's happening
>Destroy him from the inside like a whirling dervish
>Free party from dungeons and clean up the rest of his minions
>Entire group is speechless

and that was how I saved the land

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[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It wouldn't be a D&D story if someone wasn't trying to nitpick it!

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

The insanely thorough nitpicking has been at least half the fun!