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Rabies
That would be hilarious, in a really cynical way. I’m just imagining a literally rabid Republican candidate campaigning. MAGAers would probably stop drinking water in solidarity and we’d get to really test out that “I could shoot someone on fifth avenue” theory, but with biting on campaign stops.
It would be a great opportunity for someone to sell a "Bite Me Trump" shirt. Supporters would wear it for its litteral meaning and opponent would wear it for the sarcastic meaning.
Also, pirates who like teethy BJs would wear it so people know what they're into.
Republicans would go out and get rabies in solidarity. They'd say it wasn't dangerous. It'd fuck up medical stats so hard.
I would be soooo triggered if they all gave each other rabies! We must passionately and logically talk them out of it, you guys!
I'm just picturing the morons lining up to be bitten by him. That would be such an ironic twist of history.
I want to see this variation of a zombie movie.
Patient zero is a prominent politician.
His handlers continue to puppet him, because they already spent so much on his campaign.
Followers literally line up to be bitten and infected.
If you had made this ten years ago, everybody would have said it's totally unrealistic. But now it's just slightly exaggerated.
I'd go as far to say that it's depressingly plausible.
That would make a great black comedy.
"Real men have rabbies"
"It's time we elected a rabid President"
On the bright side, it would be a problem that would eventually fix itself.
Rabies is a hoax, just a mild flu, and also a bioweapon personally engineered by Dr. Fauci to force a global reset of the economy. (But giving trillions to corporates that just received three years of steep tax cuts is not bad because reasons.)
This is way too real
And then someone gets that and bird flu at the same time and we end up with airborne rabies because that’s how it works now.
Haha we’re gonna get to see him try to drink a water bottle in an even more weird way
Travis, get your gun!