this post was submitted on 16 Jul 2023
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ADHD
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I can daydream through some actions, but it's rare, and I fuck up whatever I'm doing. This is because I'm splitting my attention and not actually following a habit.
Starting any activity, including brushing my teeth, is always a conscious choice. I cannot "sleepwalk" into the bathroom to start my day.
A story here. I was in a relationship years ago, every morning this person would wake up and slap the button on their alarm. If they woke up before the alarm, or if the alarm failed, they would still reach over and slap the button. It was a habit.
I cannot develop habits like that. But I'm also not tripped up by habits. There's no "walk down the hall and automatically turn left".
The only upside to my particular situation is that I've never been hyperactive. Attention deficit, but no hyperactivity. It allows me to have at least some discipline in my day. But that has to be planned out and actively adhered to. It's a constant struggle, but not as bad as some people I've known over the years.