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How do you remain on track with toddlers onboard? (self.experienced_devs)

submitted 1 year ago by prwnr to c/experienced_devs

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I have been working in the industry for 8 years and am now considered a senior developer, also as a team lead.

Three years ago, my first child was born, and a few months ago, a second one arrived. While I don't regret my decision to have kids at all, I do feel bad about how the lack of free time affects my career and how my knowledge falls behind the industry.

Before having kids, I used to spend a few hours a week on never-ending personal projects to learn new things. However, now I neither have the time nor the energy for that.

The only way that has worked for me is to read some tech books, which are often not about coding, and to read some blogs or subs like this.

However, I feel like this approach is too passive and is not providing the best outcome that I would expect.

Any tips there, perhaps from someone who was is similar situation?

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah, kids are exhausting. I have way less time for personal projects.

First, don't be afraid to take time off when your kids need you. Kids get sick, kids have bad days. Family comes first. If you're responsible about communication, your job can handle you taking time off when needed. Don't let your job add to your stress more than necessary.

Then, you have to learn to redefine productivity and impact. I used to focus on more tangible measures of accomplishment like the number of commits, number of bugs fixed, and so on. But after a while I realized that nobody cared about those things when it came time for performance review. In fact, sometimes I got more kudos for a little side project I spent less than a day on, than work that took me months.

So, I learned to focus on what has the highest impact. I don't overload myself with tasks so that I have lots of time to mentor, to do cleanup work, and to think about the big picture. If my "regular" tasks are going to take all of my time, that's too much - I ask my manager what's the highest priority and I push some things back. The "big picture" thinking allows me to sometimes make some great insights and do work that wasn't asked for, but makes a big difference.

If you do that, you also have plenty of time to learn new things on the job. Rather than personal projects, do side projects related to your work. Try rewriting something in a new language you wanted to learn. Try out a new library or framework. It's okay if some of them are throwaway - turn them into a useful proof-of-concept or demo. It's an opportunity for you to learn and to do something useful for work.

And don't forget to enjoy your kids and take lots of pictures and videos! Oh, and write down all of the funny things they say. They're only young once.

[–] prwnr 2 points 1 year ago

So, if I understand correctly, it comes down to managing my workload in a way that allows me to allocate some of my work time to learning. This sounds interesting, but I wonder if it's achievable in my case.

We once had an agreement to allocate 1-2 days per month to learning, but that quickly fell by the wayside due to the constant need to work on something that brings value.

However, if taking a break is not a natural and agreed-upon solution, then managing my time more effectively on my own could potentially make a difference.