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New to London, weird encounter with homeless person - did I dodge a huge bullet? (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Hi, I am an early twenties woman just moved to London almost a month ago and was walking home after having picked up a parcel from my local Tesco. I live in the Bethnal Green/Cambridge Heath area, so not the best but I don't think it's the worst either(?).

Anyways, a homeless person just approached me and for some reason I didn't walk away like I would usually do, as I was a bit spaced out. He asked me if I could come close by to help pay for his monthly shelter at the church which would have ended up being like 17 gbp.

I considered it, especially knowing there are homeless shelters in the area (and he was following me so it was a bit awkward), but told me it's cash and I don't do cash and was not going to follow a random person to somewhere unknown even though he said it was "just around the corner" so I finally told him off and he simply left, complaining about how he is used to being ignored.

I have very mixed feelings about the encounter and wish it didn't happen. Checked the map, there does seem to be a shelter in the direction he pointed me towards but it was not "just around the corner" as he put it.

This happened on a1209, between the McDonald's and Bethnal Green tube station.

Did I just dodge a huge bullet? I feel bad - I wish I could help people in need but I feel like I would have risked too much for no reason. The entire encounter felt off somehow. I guess I'm just shocked at the possibility of someone literally picking me off the street and trying to trick me so he could hurt me, and looking believable. I must have been very lucky in my life to have never felt this, and I hate having to become cold/heartless/etc to make sure I stay safe.

Thanks for reading, I just needed to tell this to someone I guess.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (2 children)

A homeless guy came up to me on Liverpool Street station last week asking for money. Same thing happened, I don't carry cash. He said there was an ATM round the corner, but I firmly said no, and he went away.

If I had had cash, I wouldn't mind giving it, but I'm not going to expose access to a card or get in a dodgy situation for anyone desperate for money.

Most people asking for money are just hustling though. We've all seen the dude asking for a fiver because that's only what he needs to get the train ticket back home. Doesn't matter how many fivers he gets, he's also missing just five again tomorrow. A lot of them who ask for money for food gets real angry if you bring them food.

It does not matter if there's a shelter or whatever the story is, or even if it's true. Fact is that they're in a situation that either requires them to beg or hustle for money.

If you want to be able to help someone that way, it's probably better to carry a small amount of cash.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Yes, I had the same same thing happen with the ATM being very close and all that. I even offered to get him anything he wanted from a nearby place but he insisted on the shelter (understandably so if it did truly help him have a roof over his head for a while). thanks for your reply, I think I just need someone to talk to, i am scared at the possibility of me actually going through with it and having something bad happen to me. Not used to being this guarded.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I once offered to buy food for a woman who was looking rather rough outside a fairly upmarket supermarket like Marks and Spencer or something. She said it was a waste of money to get expensive for her and there was an Aldi or something just round the corner.

Just around the corner turned out to be a ten minute walk through parts of the city I didn't know. I hated the loss of control and the fact that I didn't know exactly where I was. It made me uncomfortable the whole time. I'm a big, fairly strong man who wasn't in real risk of being overpowered by one woman (assuming she really was alone), and even I was concerned for my safety. He could have overpowered you.

Anyway, I recognised where we were when we re-emerged from some side street, and I got her some food, then she suggested something else I wasn't happy with like giving her cash or something or buying her something else in another shop, can't remember which.

I said no and it was all fine, but I will absolutely never do that again. It was unpleasant.

I strongly recommend not following someone you just met who wants you to go to a location you don't know. Been there, done that, it ended fine, but I won't ever do it again. You chose well. He might have been honest and no danger to you, but you can't know that and your instincts told you to be cautious - don't ignore those instincts; you might be picking up on clues you simply can't put into words about his behaviour and your surroundings.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I had the same same thing happen with the ATM being very close and all that.

Yeah, the ATM is a tricky location, they can either grab your purse or, while you are focused on the keypad, they can step up behind you, show you a knife or screwdriver and suggest you might want to consider increasing your charitable donation.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I mean last year I had a guy come up to me at the bus stop as I got off to get home at the high street ask me to buy him some food cause he was hungry, me having recently had a pay rise and genuinely being in a really good mood was like sure I'll get you something there's a chicken shop right next to us let's go there I'll grab you a meal.

His instant reply was no he'd rather get Mcdonalds so I was like urgh whatever fine let's go to Mcdonalds, then it turned into I want Mcdonalds but not now please give me the cash for later.

I just said no I've tried to help you and just walked off, some people who genuinely need help are getting such a bad name from people like that.