Title: Another Goose Attack Survivor - When Will The Madness End?
Just got ambushed on my way back from MC (Mathematics & Computer Building). It was like any other day, dodging geese like it's the new Matrix movie and trying to make it home safely. But today, one of those devilish creatures got the best of me.
Out of nowhere, a goose wearing a Pure Mathematics pin attacked me. Yeah, you read that right. I always knew PMATH was hardcore, but never knew it could weaponize nature. Or maybe, it's the goose trying to take up PMATH, I'm not sure. The goose-PMATH alliance is a twist I didn't see coming in my university experience.
This has clearly gotten out of hand. We're all aware that UW's geese are no joke. We've tolerated their hisses, their glares, their poops on our footpaths, but now they're engaging in guerrilla warfare, attacking students in broad daylight! How did we allow it to come this far?
To top it all off, as I lay there, defeated, my pink tie was stolen. Yes, the symbol of my status in the Math faculty, taken by a goose with a thirst for superiority. As it waddled away, tie in beak, I could see the gleam in its eye, a clear message: "We run this campus now."
I demand action, UW. Will we continue to live in fear, or will we rise up against our avian overlords? Let's rally together and establish boundaries. And remember, geese are protected by the Migratory Birds Convention Act, so no violence. Maybe some well-placed breadcrumbs leading them to Laurier...just an idea.
Stay safe out there, fellow Warriors. Remember, it's us versus them. And, as we all know, UW > U of Goose.