Jokes and Humor

This is not absurd. It's everyday sulcata behaviour.

So the pet shop sells you a cute little hatchling tortoise. Twenty years in, he's the diameter of a large pizza, weighs about 75kg, and will plow his way through anything. If he wants in, good luck stopping him. And he's going to live for another 75 years.

Dog (Elden Ring humor)

I hear the larger species of turtle enjoy pizza with unusual toppings