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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/bugstainedwindshield on 2023-07-21 02:11:43.
Last weekend, my wife (30F) and I (30M) went on a backpacking hike in the PNW. The hike was 24 miles total (12 in & 12 out), with the trail ending at a beautiful crystal blue lake. The trailhead was close to 3 hours from our home, so we woke up at 3:30 am to be sure we’d get an early start. For those unfamiliar with overnight backpacking, the end of a hike typically has several established flat sites to pitch a tent; they are always first come first served and not reservable or numbered in any way.
My wife and I started the hike around 7:00 am and finished at 1:30 pm. We were surprised to find that we were the first ones to complete the hike, but more surprised to find that there were only 4 sites scattered around the lake. For a hike this long, it’s not uncommon to find 8 or 9 sites at the end. Regardless, we were glad we had options and chose the first spot that sat directly in front of the lake. We wondered what might happen as other people started to trickle in.
Lo and behold, within the next hour a few other groups showed up and the remaining sites were claimed. Around 4pm, a group of 4 hikers arrived at the lake. At this point, my wife and I had been well established at our site, with our tent, cooking gear, and supplies spread out. The group of 4 hiked around the lake searching for spots and eventually returned to our site. They stood around for a few minutes before approaching us and asking if we could move our tent to share the space with them. Given the size of our site, their tents would have been no more than 6 feet from ours, and our otherwise private backpacking trip would have become a shared experience with strangers. We would have been cooking food together, gathering water together, and hearing each others conversations. Therefore, we politely declined, and suggested they check for sites at the lower lake about a mile and a half back. They were clearly displeased by our answer, and gave us the “C’mon man,” routine. We again declined to share the site, at which point they became upset and insisted that we move our tent to make room for both of theirs. They said it “wasn’t fair” that we were capitalizing on the spot. We maintained our position and they ultimately left the lake.
My wife’s and my backpacking philosophy has always been to set ourselves up for success by arriving early. The whole point of backpacking for us is to get away from social obligations and be in solitude. Are we the assholes?