this post was submitted on 29 Nov 2023
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Autism

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A community for respectful discussion and memes related to autism acceptance. All neurotypes are welcome.

We have created our own instance! Visit Autism Place the following community for more info.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

Most of the things in the list above are just circumstances where misunderstandings arise and it's not uncommon for autistic self-care (like withdrawing, not paying attention, etc) to be mistaken for disrespect.

When I was a kid, these misunderstandings sometimes led to me getting beat up. Now that I'm a larger-than-average adult man, the bullying and schoolyard nonsense doesn't happen but the misunderstandings and ensuing anger can take the form of grievances that have a way of turning into career-limiting drama. It' still bullying, it's just done the way adults bully.

These are all deeply frustrating, circumstantially stupid, and they all arise from an ignorant mistake in which me being inattentive or low on social energy or just having a hard time turns into them 'feeling disrespected'.

It can be exhausting when people take offense when none was honestly on offer- and the resulting dominance nonsense that sometimes ensues when they're petty about it has me a little convinced that too many adult people out there really don't distinguish between respect and submission to their weird dominance games

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

Well, between two sides picking different ways to do eye contact and tone to use there's no reason to call one way and one tone wrong and another correct. Same about wanting or not wanting to do anything. So the author of that list, if sincere, is not "allistic", just assholeistic.

Also - I personally question someone's authority only when it's correct in the ongoing argument.

However, I usually ignore any authority I consider invalid. That's not the same as "questioning", as I'm not doing that demonstrably, that is, socially, just don't let it in onto my personal territory, speaking figuratively. And thus is not someone else's concern.

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