Forgive my comment for being a bit... crass.
Lemmy & the Federation are emerging technologies.
Early tech adopters are never "average people", they are disproportionately geeky 18-to-35 year old middle-class white males with spare time to tinker around. Or basically... me.
It's less likely they are ethnic, religious and sexual minorities, disabled individuals, elderly, women and/or other disadvantaged groups. So Lemmy is at a demographic disadvantage right now.
It took a very, very long time for the "average person" to accept Reddit as an accessible & safe online platform for anyone that doesn't fit the 'early adopter' archetype. Heck, I still know folks that think of Reddit as a sort-of 'radical' space where Hackers cosplayers use tech-jargon to communicate all day. And it wasn't that long ago where this was more true than lies.
In any case, there's a reason why Lemmy's most popular communities are things like Technology, Gaming, Linux, Piracy. There's waaaaay less human-interest stuff. Way less stuff that appeals broadly.
An example:
Do you know how many subscribers there are in /c/relationship_advice right now ? There are four. There are zero posts.
Meanwhile, r/relationship_advice has over 9 million. And it's pretty close to 1:1 ratio for men and women contributors.
Over on Reddit, I help mod a regional community of 65K subscribers. It's a casual place with casual people. People hop in asking for tourism advice, recommendations for school districts, questions about traffic or local quirks, etc. These people aren't always tech-literate.
So the thing that prevents me from moving my community off Reddit is... they're not ready for it yet. I suspect a lot of mods feel the same.
In the meantime - we can focus on making Lemmy into the best space it can be for when those users are ready. We have meaningful dialogue, we respect our differences, we keep the place clear of ads & spam, and clear of bigotry.
Once there are high quality, extremely simple apps that allow everyday users to browse Lemmy without having to explain any advanced tech jargon, I'm hopeful the Federation will take off. The demographics here will shift, and with that - communities will be more eager to move over. We might see things like "Hi Lemmy, I'm an old Korean War survivor. AMA!" instead of "Plex is giving me an unsupported codec notification, did I download the wrong DLLs?".
Hope that rambling made sense.