Please do it anon and make sure you film this great achievement.
this post was submitted on 07 May 2025
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just jump over the fence into the zoo enclosure with him, and you'll probably get your chance
Mike Tyson was going to fight a gorilla in his prime. The zoo keepers denied his request. While he can punch a hole in a human's chest, that gorilla was going to rip his arms off with absolutely no effort.
I think he's on to something... In these times of political and economical uncertainty, we should bring back ancient Rome colosseum style games. Modern fighters taking on wild animals for glory. Give the masses something to get excited about.
Let the man get himself dismembered by a gorilla as part of a bigger event with deadly races and feats of human strength.
Sounds like an average minimum wage jog tbh.
Damn. I coulda gotten paid to run.
Here I am doing it for free like a chump.
Gorrillas weigh between 219 and 600 lbs
According to Guiness World Records they can lift 1800 lbs.
They have an arm span of over 8 ft.
Feel free to try it but spend some time putting your estate on order, first.
Don't forget the bite force. Monkeys bite.
An orangutan could grab a man by his feet and head and tear him in half, honestly i kind of doubt that the biggest most well trained man could even take on a chimpanzee and win without a weapon.
Assuming Anon has an estate to put in order... smh my head.
Look, Jim-Bob needs to know whether he's getting the contents of that trailer or not.
they can lift 1800 lbs.
For a real-world comparison, ever try to move someone that's passed out? That's probably in the ballpark of 200lbs.
Now imagine lifting six people at once.
Current world records for a deadlift top out just shy of 1200 lbs.
Feel free to try it but spend some time putting your estate on order, first.
OP is definitely going to need a beefy insurance policy, a last will, and a pre-ordered coffin. Maybe they get ahead of the game and just give someone full power of attorney the day before. Assuming they stay in one piece, it's possible that they could survive, but they're going to need a new skeleton and a few vital organs to pull that off.
The gorilla will use his insides as an Onahole when he's finished with him.
Why bother fight a gorilla. Just cut the forest down and polute his environment. Steal his children put them in a zoo. Cut off his hands then and turn them into ash trays. We have already dominated the natural world now we are working on dominating future generations.
All ya doubters sound like Joe Rogan on a chimp rant right now. Gorilla glazers....
I say let him. We really don't need people like this anyway.
if it wasn't so unethical towards the animals, i would love to let those people go for it.
Could only improve the human gene pool.
This made me think of that time my partner's brother told me in complete earnest that he'd be able to jump off a skateboard going 20+ mph and run it out based solely off the fact that the fastest recorded human running speed is 28 mph and therefore he, an average fit 20 y.o. should be able to achieve 75% of that.
running at 12mph on a treadmill is scary and fucking exhausting.
Yeah, I used to be able to do 1 mile flat out at about 9 mph, then I'm toast.
I did 1 mi. in 7:19 today.
I have done 9.2 mph in some 1-2 minute sprints for HIIT.
I'd want somewhere soft to land (when the treadmill threw me) and a first aid team ready if I were to even attempt 12 mph!
yeah I was 15 years younger when I tried it and it was just a novelty.
In his defense, you only have to run at 20mph for about a step as you'd be slowing down pretty fast.
Your torso and face certainly make for an effective, if slightly messy, brake.
😂👍🤣
Your best chance to kill a gorilla in a fight is probably to move so much air around him that he catches a f*cking cold and dies from it. If you don't actually touch him you may even have a non-0 survival chance as he ignores you.
That would be how to do it. Humans have pretty good endurance as far as animals go. And gorrilas have pretty terrible punching technique and waste a lot of energy on those shitty downward over head swings that are pretty telegraphed.
My money will still be on the gorilla though unless you ad a few more people
They're pretty telegraphed, but you don't get iframes in real life. All the gorilla needs to do is sweep his arms and grab you and then he can just rip you apart.
The gorilla only needs to land one blow though, or even just bite your hand.
What's gorilla gonna do? Bite him?
Prove it.
If I had a gun in each hand, a bandolier full of knives, and a satchel full of grenades, I might be able to take down a gorilla. But likely not before he kills me first.
Sounds like you need a bigger gun for each hand.
.500 Smith and Wesson in each hand aught to do it.
Just make sure you land the first shot center mass, cause by the third you’re gonna be shooting at planes.
You will no longer have wrists, of course, but that is a small price to pay for victory.
I have actually shot a .480 ruger. I think I’ll pass on the .500. The gorilla won’t need to do anything because I will have already offed myself trying to shoot those things one handed.
Just turned to my husband to ask are there really men out there who think they can really fight a goddamn gorilla??? Is it a joke? Have they SEEN a gorilla??? A chimp gonna kick your ass and they're smaller than an adult man wtf!
Id personally be more scared of the chimp. The gorilla is mostly a peaceful animal.
It's good to set realistic goals to motivate your workout.
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