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Is the cure to toxic masculinity... Positive masculinity? Rule (slrpnk.net)

submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

77 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Not my note.

It's so easy to rip people down. Pump someone's tires. It means way more than you can imagine.

(page 2) 27 comments

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

Hell yeah!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago (2 children)

What were you cooking that smelled so good?

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

Is this Adrian Dittman??

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 month ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (14 children)

I mean, mom was there too and presumably has at least half of parenting influence on the kids. Why no paragraphs of praise for her, or even a mention beyond the fact that she guided in the trailer (which is only in there so the writer could compliment the dad more on getting it 'first try')?

Because of the implicit assumption that yeah, obviously moms are good at parenting–just business as usual–but when a DAD is good at it, strangers take the time to write a whole diatribe about it. Meanwhile mom gets no praise, she's just doing what she's supposed to in this guy's opinion.

Shit is fucked, exhausting, demoralizing, and so pervasive.

EDIT: MRAs alive and thriving here on Lemmy, as always

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[–] [email protected] -1 points 1 month ago (12 children)

Maybe it's generational I don't know. I'm a 47 year old dude I don't need strangers validation to know I'm a good dad and frankly that level of assumed eavesdropping and then feeling a need to announce that regardless of it being a positive message is just, fucking weird and off-putting.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

the weird part to me is writing such a long note and putting it on the car.
if it was delivered in person (and then there's still a lot that could make it weird), or the note was just "hey man, couldn't help but notice you seem to be a great parent, props from a fellow camper", i'd be more comfortable with it.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 weeks ago

Yeah, that makes perfect sense. I can understand how something coming across as overly specific could be creepy.

I think I'd put a bit more details to show actual examples then it doesn't sound hollow. I think I would feel weird if it was just a random short note. Like, what did I do? Did I make a scene? So to avoid making someone else feel that way I'd add a few examples in the least weird way possible 😄

But I'm autistic and tend to question my way of viewing things a lot, so maybe that's just a me thing 😉