A bidet.
this post was submitted on 02 Dec 2024
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Maybe I'm doing something wrong, but I don't get the point. I was convinced by a billion people online and got a nice one with water and seat heater, dryer and a ton of other features. It sucks. Nobody in the family likes it or uses it now because afterwards you're still wiping dirty ass that's now wet.
None of us are especially fat or have weird bodies as far as I can tell.
Do the rest of you really get up with a clean asshole that you can just tap dry after?
What the fuck are we all doing wrong?
Wipe first. Use soap if you want to be really clean.
I got a cheap bidet a few years back and I use it all the time. The fancy ones can be nice but most of the extra features are gimmicky things that don't have a large impact on function. They're marketed like magic poop-away devices but bidets aren't magic. Bidets are showerheads for your toilet bowl meant to make buttwashing more accessible. Use your bidet like a butt-shower instead of a magic no-effort poo cleaner and you'll have better results.
I’m a very hairy guy, so getting really clean down there is challenging sometimes. With the bidet I wiggle a bit to make sure the whole area is clean, and I usually do it a couple of times.
And sometimes I wipe to dry and it’s still dirty… I think it has more to do with my diet than anything else. When that happens I just rinse and repeat, or I jump in the shower. Once I realized how much cleaner I feel after using water instead of just paper, I can’t go back.
For anyone else reading this who doesn’t already have a bidet, don’t spend your money on the really fancy ones. You can get a basic model on Amazon for less than $50 (my first one was only $20), and unless you really want the heated seat, deodorizer, or other features, that’s all you need. The water pressure on the cheap ones was way better than on my fancy electronic one too.
Hair is definitely a problem. My perfect solution would be wet wipes I can flush. They really work, I just hate to have a trash can full of shit covered wipes.
Your diet is bad.
Have some actual (not instant) oatmeal every morning, and a good sized portion of non fried veggies with dinner and marvel at the change.
Same - my butt is cleaner but it's not worth the hassle of it being wet now. The dryer on mine isn't any good.
Wiggle around a bit to get cleaner. But I'm not a fan of ours.
I got the Tushy Spa bidet for my toilet. It has cold and hot water attachments points. warm water and no electricity needed.
TBH, the cold water never bothered me. Now that I have a heated version it is really nice, but not worth the extra money.
I always buy lots of gold bars for all my houses. /s
I used to buy "the help" but now I have to rent them.
Professionally installed wired networking? The more detailed pre-purchase survey?
A big toilet. I replaced my little ones from the 80's when I was getting my house ready for sale because my real estate agent told me to. The new ones were so much more comfortable! I wish I had put them in right after moving in rather than right before moving out. Now I have to settle for a little toilet again because my bathroom is small, and it's not great.
Dishwasher and an L2 EV charger
level 2 chargers at home are such a nice thing to have. its so nice for a quick stop at home to get a few things before leaving again and getting some extra range : D
2 dishwashers. 2 water heaters.
I have that in my current house and it's amazing.
Why 2 dishwashers?
One for business and the other for pleasure
Cooking for 4 uses a lot of dishes. Modern dishwashers are also much slower because of energy efficiency.
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Why two water heaters and not just one big one?
They don't make them that big but the other big reason I like it is because they are piped together with bypass valves so either one can fail and we still have hot water while waiting on a repair.
Why not tankless?
I definitely considered it but the house already came with 2 so it was easier to stick with it and reconfigure them to work in parallel with bypass valves. The other reason is I'm trying to get off of gas and the electric ones are energy hogs. My current tanks are now heat pumps.
Ah, I forget that heat pumps are an option. Makes sense
Ethernet.
So my counterpoint on this is that in my last house I ran ethernet everywhere but really only needed 3 drops because everything started to use WiFi.
So when I moved into my current house I ran it to only 2 places where I was certain I wanted hardwired, and put WiFi APs at those drops to give good whole house coverage.
One drop to each room is good enough, you can always drop a 4 port switch into a room that needs more.
No, I’m saying 1 drop in a room with nothing hardwired is a waste of time and money.
I put 2 wires in the office and 2 in the living room, but didn’t run any to bedrooms because those are all laptops and cellphones.
I really like warm lighting in general so I replace every light bulb with a warmer color. I particular under cabinet lights and above cabinet lights are cheap and easy to do with led strip lights now. I love indirect lighting and task lighting and you can do a lot with $100.
High CRI lights give more luxury feel. It's hard to get back to cheap lighting now.
It's not that expensive but it's also not inexpensive but I highly recommend that if you have to replace your hot water heater that you get a hybrid hot water heater, more so if you live in a warmer climate.
It is a win-win.
One, it is more efficient at warming your water, saving you money and ultimately paying for itself over time.
Two, it takes the coldness out of your water and blows it into the air of your home, saving you money on cooling your home.
Three, it will dehumidify your air, making the sweltering summer months all the more pleasant.
It will cost you approximately $1,000 more than a standard electric water heater of the same size, but if you live anywhere south of the midpoint of Colorado, it will pay for itself in energy savings in less than half of its lifetime and the savings after that point will pay for its replacement when its time is up.
Plus you might be able to get government incentives for it.
I had never heard of this so I had to Google. It seems the advantages you are talking about don't all necessarily apply if your water heater is outside then, right? I mean, I guess it'll be a bit more energy efficient, but cooling and dehumidifying effects are only if the water heater is indoors, correct? There is not a system to do any sort of interior cooling for outdoor water heaters, no?
Forgive me if these are stupid questions. I hadn't heard about this type of water heater before. I live in a hot climate, but my water heater is in an outdoor storage closet.
Yes, it's for a water heater being inside with sufficient ventilation. If your water heater is currently in a garage or separate area the benefits change.
I'm in Texas, and over 90% of the houses I've seen have the water heater in a closet somewhere inside. Some older builds have it in an attached garage. But if that is the case, there's a good reason to move it when you next replace it, as the garage gets much colder in the winter, costing more to heat the water!
Oh that is true but most of them have systems where you can attach tubes to the inputs and outputs and with enough redneck engineering (which is my upcoming plan once I finish a few other jobs) you can rig up a system to optionally either vent the cooled air outside or with a damper switch have it blow into the air intake of my AC system.
This is easier for me since my water heater is right next to the air intake for my HVAC system.
But, alternatively during the winter you have the option of switching over to traditional electric and even though that will negate the energy savings from the hybrid system it will prevent energy waste from cooling the air that you paid to heat.
A bidet and a High Sierra showerhead.
Both of these are must haves.
Throw in one of those shower extensions. E.g "Faucet 10-inch Adjustable Extension Shower Arm"
Your showerhead runs OSX?
Whole house humidifier. They're great if you live anywhere where it gets dry in the winter.
Curiosity: how much room does one take up? I would love to have one, especially for the winter, but there is 0 room in my utility closet.
Depends on the model. I figure about 2 ft. X 2ft. X 2ft. Is about average.
I have the furnace mounted style so a cube about the small dimension of most heat ducts.
Thick, foam mat to stand on in the kitchen and at the bathroom sink.
I can run and hike for hours, but standing in one place for 5 minutes wrecks my lower back and the arches in my feet. Been like that since I was a teenager.
So, the foam mat is essential for daily cooking (even 3 minutes for eggs), cleaning dishes, and hygiene (brushing teeth, washing face).
I have one similar to this one, purchased 6+ years ago (before I started limiting Amazon purchases). It’s held up great - it looks brand new. No cracks, or signs of wear. Still just as squishy as when I first got it.
What about footwear with more shock absorption?
This is sad to say but I've lived so much of my life with making everything "passing" or "just enough" that for me bringing everything up to snuff feels like a luxury.
So like whoever had this place before me half assed that plastic crap you line a shower with. It was coming off and the caulk job was god awful so bought a couple things of liquid nails, took it apart, checked for leaks, fixed a couple little things, glued shit back together and caulked it properly. Another thing is recently I had to go down the rabbit hole of having a well and holy crap the things that are wrong. I spent hours looking for and measuring the casing of the old well and finally found what I needed and wanted for like 100$.
It feels like a luxury to spend the time, effort, and money getting shit done right and knowing that I don't have to worry about it when I'm done.
Cat
Fridge with auto defrost and an oven with pyrolitic cleansing function.
If you get to replace these I'd shell out a little extra on these qol features.
Defrosting the fridge and cleaning the over are a chore I get very happy about not having to do anymore.
Hot water recirc pump
Smart lighting.
Specifically Philips Hue with the switches that look like normal switches/dimmers.
The bulbs are pricey but I've had some of them for 10-15 years. Still going strong.
Are these threads hedgefunds looking for something to arbitrage?
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