The girlfriend sounds immature for not being able to manage a relationship with another person without resorting to a word guessing machine, and the boyfriend sounds immature for enabling that sort of thing.
this post was submitted on 21 Oct 2024
520 points (98.1% liked)
Facepalm
2598 readers
276 users here now
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
"I use ChatGPT for" <- at this point I've already tuned out, the person speaking this is unworthy of attention
“…for trying to understand sarcasm as an autistic person”
“…for translation until I find DeepL“
“…short circuiting negative thought loops”
(JK, probably to do a bad job at something stupid)
my wife likes to jump from one to another when I try and delve into any particular aspect of an argument. I guess what im saying is arguments are going to always suck and not necessarily be rationale. chatgpt does not remember every small detail as she is the one inputting the detail.
Ok, is this a thing now? I don’t think I’d want to be in what is essentially a relationship with chat GPT…
Yes... I know some people who rely exclusively on Chatgpt to meditate their arguments. Their reasoning is that it allows them to frame their thoughts and opinions in a non-accusatory way.
My opinion is that chatgpt is a sycophant that just tries to agree with everything you say. Garbage in, garbage out. I suppose if the argument is primarily emotionally driven, with minimal substance, then having Chatgpt be the mediator might be helpful.
Well, it literally is a yes man, it guesses what words are the most appropriate response to the words you said.
No… everything on AITA has always been fake bullshit
How would it be any different if she had been using Google? Just like...vibes?
load more comments
(1 replies)
On the one hand, better chatGPT than the guy she's cheating with, on the other hand, if you can tell how inappropriate that is and she can not, maybe you are not meant for each others?
Run Forrest, run!!
This sounds fun. Going to try it during my next argument but first I have to setup a speech to text so that AI is actively listening and then have it parse and respond in realtime to the conversation. Let AI take over the argument while I go have a cappuccino.
Easy, just fine-tune your favorite llm to say you're always right 😹
What could possibly go wrong.
For real though this is a pretty good way to cope with communication breakdown. Idk why the poster of this comment doesn't try using chatGPT therapy as well.
I think she's using it less as therapy and more as a way to win arguments is the problem
I'm thinking the poster could easily use chatGPT the same way as his opponent, there is no advantage to one side or the other here.
The main value in introducing a third party (which in this case is software) is to take ego out of an argument and start arguing against a problem rather than a person. This is why I referred to it as therapy. chatGPT is an echo chamber of human writing with a few guardrails, much like speaking with an impartial therapist.
Not if he's vegan. Vegans can't use ChatGPT.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Something that gets ignored in these comments is that not everyone is as comfortable in a verbal communication altercation. My partner prefers that I write down my thoughts and give her some time to digest and formulate responses. Using ChatGPT to do this a bit on the fly might speed up our communication. This is of course assuming that everyone is doing this with honest intentions, not just using LLMs as a weapon.
I love the idea your wife has about writing arguments down! Feels like it would help give structure too, so many arguments I have meander from disagreeing about detail to detail.
Good point, there's no point in communication with someone acting in bad faith.
Ignoring that this is probably bullshit, I think the bigger problem is that you've had multiple bigger and even more smaller arguments in only 8 months. Just break up.
And I thought we left the "just break up over minor inconveniences" mindset behind on Reddit
If you consider multiple big arguments in the first 8 months of a new relationship a "minor inconvenience", then I hope you only have partners that agree with you and spare all the normal people.
"couple of big arguments and some smaller ones."
Let's do a count:
- big arguments: 2
- smaller arguments: at least 3, let's say 5
- months: 8
- Number of total arguments per month: (2+5) /8 = 0.875 arguments per month = less than 1 argument per month
Tell me, what is an acceptable frequency of arguments for you?
Since we're playing silly numbers: 0. You can, and likely will, disagree but healthy people shouldn't escalate into anything resembling an argument.
But speaking of silly numbers. All of those you used. No one says "a couple" when they have a concrete number in mind unless they're looking to downplay the number. It can be 2, it can be 3, it can be 4. It's only, definitively, more than 1.
Also, why are big arguments being weighted the same as small arguments? Although I'm not going to quibble over how many small arguments a big argument is "worth" (assuming we take 1 'small argument' as our unit).
Lastly, how often are you seeing each other in the first month that an argument, even a small one, doesn't throw up red flags. If you REALLY like them on the first date, you'd make time to see them like twice a week or something? I'll admit that there is leeway here as to what constitutes "dating" someone as some people see potential SOs for weeks (months?) before locking in. I also admit I'm abnormal as I frequently need time to not see people. My point remains that unless you've moved in with them as soon as you started dating, you are not seeing each other with enough frequency for that volume of arguments to make sense. Unless the arguments are about the (in)frequency of going on dates.
You can, and likely will, disagree but healthy people shouldn’t escalate into anything resembling an argument.
Isn't an argument what you are doing when going back and forth expressing any sort of disagreement? I realize that's not something everyone enjoys doing but personally I don't feel like I can get to know someone very well if I don't have opportunities to argue with them. Though I see what you mean if it's the sort of argument where you're getting upset with each other or it's a dispute about how your lives fit together like whose turn it is to do the dishes etc.
Hmm, that's given me pause, to reconsider.
I consider an "argument" when voices get raised and people get heated. Big or small is difference of how long people are upset and how loud participants get. I will concede I was unwittingly applying a definition other people may not share.
Note: it it gets physical, that escalates from "argument" to "fight".
Edit: to address your comment more directly. No, if people are being civil and tones are reasonable, a disagreement doesn't have to be an argument. It's just another discussion. Perhaps a debate. But an "argument" in my mind is oppositional.
Sure, using "debate" may be more accurate, but I have never seen people use the term in their daily lives. In my experience, people just lump debates and heated arguments into a collective "arguments." There may be a finer point to be made here about linguistic prescriptivism versus descriptivism, but that's beside the point.
If we were to interpret the OOP as you have (ie, heated arguments), then I will agree that that's quite unacceptable. However, based on what I've said above and based on reading between the lines of the OOP, we can generally assume that the arguments were not heated, especially since the girlfriend was stated to have been able to simply walk away to consult ChatGPT for what I assume are non-trivial moments of time
load more comments
(1 replies)
healthy people shouldn't escalate into anything resembling an argument.
This is called conflict avoidance and it's toxic. Cowardly hiding from your problems makes a breakup inevitable. An honourable couple fights their relationship problems together.
Check my comment to chicken and edit this if you want.
Some people's relationships are literally built around arguments and competition and they last decades.
Not every relationship has to fit into your mold.
Idk if you saw my expansion in my comment to chicken in a different subthread.
If you have and this is still your answer, then whatever that'll be your opinion and I'll have mine. Some people smoke multiple packs a day and live to 80 but that doesn't make smoking a healthy thing to do either.
Arguments don't have to be angry, neither do competitions. Why is arguing and competing with each other unhealthy if it is friendly?
Two married Olympians both competed in women's volleyball for different countries this year. Obviously they have a competitive marriage. It apparently is working for them.
load more comments
(3 replies)