this post was submitted on 22 May 2024
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Food Crimes - Offenses against nutrition

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Welcome to Food Crimes! This community is here to collect all and any post about cursed food and generally unusual consumables.

Right now, here’s the rules:

  1. Posts must include an image or video containing food or drink.
  2. It must be unusual or cursed in some way. a. For example, something like Doritos Milk would be unusual, but normal milk would not.
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How to tag: To tag your posts, please prepend or append the tag name inside square brackets. For example,[OC] Foo bar baz or foo bar baz [Meta] would be acceptable. Multiple tags will require separate pairs of brackets, like so: [Edited][OC] foo bar baz

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 6 months ago (1 children)

The only crime here is this sodium grenade not being in my belly.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

Mmmmm high blood pressure

[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 months ago (2 children)

I was on board until I saw "with cream cheese" on the cup.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

I don't want to know what that poor cream cheese has been through in order to make it into that product.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)

In fairness, cream + broth is pretty standard in cooking. It sounds gross but likely just adds body to the broth.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

I know a lot of soups with q creamy base, but I can't think of any with noodles. I'm sure they exist, I just can't think of them. But cream cheese is much thicker and has a specific flavor that isn't what I would expect in soup.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 months ago (3 children)

Just bought the breakfast ramen yesterday. It's maple flavored with chunks of eggs and sausage. Not very good.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

Gotta say part of me is disappointed in you

But proud of your adventurous spirit too

As long as you didn’t expect to love it I think we’re OK

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

That's pretty much what my five minutes of research into this product revealed as well – the everything bagel version is apparently surprisingly tasty, but the sausage and egg version is not.

But let's be honest: have you ever seen dried sausage in any instant product that actually works? As a child, I remember occasionally eating some sort this meatball soup that came as an instant powdered mix. And invariably, these pretend meat chunks always ended up tasting like cardboard and rubber and were obviously not very pleasant or satisfying.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago
[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago (1 children)

If there was a god he'd be preparing to flood the Earth again.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago (1 children)

There is, but he is flooding it with Everything Bagel seasoning

[–] zero_spelled_with_an_ecks 2 points 6 months ago

Jobu Tupaki.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

They've already put everything on a bagel. So now they're putting an everything bagel everywhere.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

And for dessert, how about some purple sweet potato-flavored Kit Kats?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Both my daughter & wife would probably love these.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I mean, jokes aside, according to some reviews I’ve read these are actually pretty good, albeit likely not for your health.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

My daughter has POTS; her cardiologist basically is telling us to get as much salt in her as possible. This seems like a win for her.

[–] zero_spelled_with_an_ecks 5 points 6 months ago

All hail Jobu Tupaki!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I've had the bagel one, it was the most disgusting thing I've ever eaten

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

I honestly can't imagine it being very good, but reviewers actually seem to like it, albeit it's unclear whether they were paid to say so or not.

The maple egg and sausage version they also offer, however, supposedly is awful by all accounts.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

they ran out of shitty ideas to new flavors I guess