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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/iwantmypinkhouse on 2023-08-07 01:03:26.
I (f 20) currently live in the house left to me by my paternal grandmother. Since moving in at 18, I have wanted to change the decor pretty dramatically. My grandmother was a very “coastal grandmother” and the entire house reflects that. The main color palette is white, navy and some hints of other dark colors. I want to change it into bright pinks, oranges, and yellows.
For my birthday in May, my dad surprised me by hiring an interior decorator and gave me a pretty large budget, so it basically became a renovation too. We have slowly been working together to create ideas for the whole house and on friday, she finally came with paint, wallpaper, and fabric swatches. She pinned all the fabric swatches to the correct pieces (the living room has a conversion pit that we are upholstering), plus painted the wall to pick the right color for the wallpaper.
My (maternal) cousin (ftm 23) and boyfriend (m 19) are both currently living with me. My boyfriend knows of my renovations and told me that I own the house so he just wants me to do what I like. My cousin lives on the opposite side of the house and uses a bar as their kitchen, so I rarely see him. Well, yesterday he came into the kitchen and asked about the redecorating, as he can see stuff in the bar and bathroom. I explained what I was doing.
He FREAKED out on me, saying that i'm trying to force him back into being a girl by painting everything so feminine. We went back and forth for over an hour, with the conversation ending with me telling him that he can either suck it up or move out and pay rent somewhere. My dad also made him sign a renter’s contract, even though he wasn't paying rent. I made sure to bring this up, saying that if he wanted to fight about it then I can give him his 30 day notice.
FYI- his areas are not being turned pink, except the bar he uses as a kitchen. The bar and kitchen will look the same, with the same cabinets and countertop. His bathroom is staying white, but we are replacing the toilet and shower.
He still is currently in my house, but I have gotten multiple calls about the situation. My mom’s side believes that I am being transphobic for not waiting to decorate until he leaves (he said before that it's not for at least 2 years). My dad’s side believes that my grandma left me the house because I always loved it and she knew my pink dream for it, so I shouldn't have to wait because someone doesn't even pay rent on it.
The house is in my name, was left to me, and I just really really want to decorate it. I love how every room comes together and it's exactly how I wanted it. I’m going to be disappointed if I don’t go through with it. And my dad has spent so much on it already. I feel bad to make him uncomfortable though. So AITA for going through with redecorating?