this post was submitted on 05 Aug 2023
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Today I Learned

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Direct gaze - that is, eye contact with another person - causes the subcortical system to overload, and the parts of the brain that deal with arousal and calming are failing to strike a balance. The end result is that direct eye contact triggers a physiological response which makes it physically uncomfortable to maintain eye contact.

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[–] bloopernova 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I had to work hard from an early age to make eye contact because I'd get disciplined if I didn't.

Funny that now I work remotely, I don't have to make eye contact at all.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

It’s the best ✨

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

It doesn't feel like burning to me. But it does feel deeply odd.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Making eye contact with people gives me the same feeling as looking at the sun, but mentally.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I don't know if I would describe it for myself as 'burning'. Making eye contact to me feels overly intimate in a way that feels uncomfortable with people I'm not close to

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

For me (am ASD) it always feels a bit overstimulating. A bit like staring at the sun. Or even more, like trying to do complex math in your head while also maintaining a conversation with someone. I am bound to lose my train of thought while keeping eye contact. I have to break it away to actually use my brain

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

is that what that is?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

there's also the base physiological fact that there are two eyes, and you can't look at both at the same time. This results in either choosing one eye (awkward) of flickering between the (eye-strain tastic). Both are terrible options.
Instead I look over the whole face so I can attempt (really badly) to parse feeling & intention. This often results in making comments like 'You have amazing ears' or 'that lipstick is perfect' in the middle of otherwise entirely mundane conversations.