Lemmy is Federated. You don't distribute hosting, you have the federation servers communicate with each other.
The best thing you can do is spin up your own instance and convince your friends to use it. That way big communities like https://lemmy.ml/c/asklemmy only has to send your server one update for a post for all your users to view, rather than sending that update to 20 browsers themselves.
So your lemmy.mo_ztt.com instance could serve the one copy of it's content to your dozen or so users which takes load off of the "main" instance.
"Instance operators" as you termed it... could be literally anyone. You can host is on a raspberry pi for a handful of users easily. This would lighten the loads on the major "Instance operators".