Gaming

I personally stopped playing any multiplayer games. I don't know what it started happening, but it feels like everything went from casual fun, to grindy bullshit and competitive sweatfest.

Maybe it's just me, I put too much pressure on myself, but I know that it wasn't there before. I used to be able to play without feeling this intense pressure of being good, because I didn't want to be a burden for my team and didn't want to be insulted by virulent players.

BR games were the worst for this. The longer you are alive, the more pressure builds up. Things could be going smoothly, you're not crossing even one enemy, and all of the sudden: it's just you and your friends, versus another team. You make one wrong move, and it's over. It's over, and it's your fault. I can't do that. I can't handle the pressure of being responsible for this. Feeling like I've ruined and wasted their time.

I play to have fun. To relax. I was never getting angry. But my friends, they did. They were nice to me, we're still friends after all, I wouldn't have tolerated abuse. But I could tell, I wasn't as good as them, and they hated losing when we were playing games. They would get angry, and the pressure of doing good was getting to me. It stopped being fun, and it didn't used to be this way. So I stopped.

I only play single player games now. It's been a really long time since I played online. Although, I sometimes think of going back to Titanfall 2, it is still one the greatest FPS ever made in my opinion, and I just adored it, I was really good at it too.

But yeah. I never get angry and rarely feel pressured now when playing a game and losing. No one is going to insult me, or berate me, and I am not dragging anyone down. If I do get angry, it is because some bullshit is happening. Like the game pulled a Mario Kart on me, and decided that I was going to lose because that's the way it is I guess.

I feel like you made the right move. It shouldn't be this way, it shouldn't make you feel this bad, and if it is, then you should quit. It's not your fault, it may even not be the game's fault, it doesn't have to be anyone's or anything's fault. If it's just better for you, then do it.

I suggest to check out some single player games, there is a lot of them. Lots of variety. :)