Selfhosted
A place to share alternatives to popular online services that can be self-hosted without giving up privacy or locking you into a service you don't control.
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I set up an instance recently. I found that as soon as a couple of other people joined the instance and started subscribing to groups there was more than enough content coming in.
There are only so many communities to join and once one person joins something the entire server benefits. So it feels much less lonely than a small mastodon instance. No real need for a relay.
Maybe I'm misunderstanding the capabilities of relays. The problem I am thinking about is having too many smaller instances subscribed to communities on each of the larger ones, causing a lot of unnecessary traffic. If there is a way to have all those smaller instances subscribe through one or a few relays, that would keep traffic on the bigger instances down and help spread the load.
You're not misunderstanding. They just solve more than one issue, and create a few too.