The Onion

4444 readers

160 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

434

Alabama Supreme Court Set to Decide Constitutionality of Pulling Out (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 8 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

24 comments fedilink hide all child comments

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] 67 points 8 months ago (16 children)

Let's check what the Bible has to say about this.

Genesis 38:9-10

But Onan knew that the child would not be his; so whenever he slept with his brother’s wife, he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from providing offspring for his brother.

What he did was wicked in the LORD’s sight; so the LORD put him to death also.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 8 months ago (7 children)

His dad was asking him to impregnate his brother's widow but he's like nah I'll just screw her for fun. So he dies...

Then later she disguises herself as a prostitute, and gets pregnant by his dad. Apparently this is okay...